Sorority Moms Break Down What It Took to Support Their Daughters During Rush, from $600 Daily Gifts to 16Hour Drives (Exclusive) Zoey LyttleAugust 28, 2025 at 6:00 AM Greek life at SEC universities has earned a reputation for being especially competitive and exclusive, especially during sorority rec...
- - Sorority Moms Break Down What It Took to Support Their Daughters During Rush, from $600 Daily Gifts to 16-Hour Drives (Exclusive)
Zoey LyttleAugust 28, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Greek life at SEC universities has earned a reputation for being especially competitive and exclusive, especially during sorority recruitment
Social media trends like "Bama Rush" and #RushTok have put the process on a global stage. This year, the focus has shifted to some of the parents supporting their kids throughout rush
PEOPLE spoke to two mothers as their daughters endeavored to enter Greek life at two different Southern schools: one mom with no sorority ties and a veteran of Greek life
As they drove home to Maryland after a long, tiring move-in day at the University of Mississippi, Amy Sergeant and her husband tried to work through the details of their daughter's upcoming week. They left Abigail, their eldest child, with a fully fitted freshman dorm room and a packed schedule ahead of her.
While the Sergeants had no problem helping her settle into her new space, they could offer Abigail little more than their support as she prepared for a process so deeply foreign to her parents: southern sorority recruitment.
"We don't really know how it works. There's eleven [sororities], you get to pick eight, but if all eight don't pick you, can you add three back? Can you not add three back? What's the process?" Amy wonders aloud to PEOPLE one day after dropping off Abigail at Ole Miss. "My husband and I, we're trying not to frustrate her."
Jane Clair Shettles; Amy Sergeant
Jane Clair Shettles and her daughter Mamie; Bid Day at Ole Miss.
It's not that Amy is completely unfamiliar with Greek life or rush in general. The process has garnered global attention over the past few years thanks to TikTok, where University of Alabama hopefuls have documented their experience, contributing to the viral "Bama Rush" phenomenon.
#RushTok turns up countless videos of young women across the country — many of whom attend Southeastern Conference (SEC) schools like Ole Miss — dressing up for each day and stage of recruitment.
Amy Sergeant
A photo Amy Sergeant's daughter Abigail sent her mother during rush.
As a flight attendant with FAA clearance, Amy isn't able to have and use TikTok, so the most she's seen of Bama Rush had been what Abigail showed her this past summer. She also looked to other parents for advice on likes of Facebook groups like Sorority Recruitment of the South & Beyond, a page catered toward Southern school parents and those going through similar rush processes around the country.
Otherwise, Amy admits her knowledge of Greek life is minimal, almost completely based on her experience going to a "northern school."
"We had the slutty sorority, the nerdy sorority, you know what I mean? Everybody had their thing," she recalls. "But from what it seems like for [Ole Miss], there's the top four. And in Abigail's mind, those are the top four cool girl houses."
Unlike her mom, Abigail is very well-versed in all things #RushTok. She and her friends started watching sorority TikToks during COVID, when they were high schoolers stuck inside, dying to experience a freer, more grown-up world.
"They were watching all this stuff on social media and they're like, 'Oh, my gosh, this looks so fun. They're all hanging out. We're trapped here,'" Amy says of her daughter's reception of Bama Rush and similar Greek life trends online.
Because Abigail has learned a decent amount of what she knows of sorority life from TikTok and Instagram, Amy noticed that her daughter started to put more stock into her outward presence online as well. Social media became a tool for Abigail to appeal to sororities before she even got to Ole Miss.
"Abigail and her girlfriends went to a Kesha concert. They did not post one picture. Because, even though they were appropriately dressed, they had on glitter Kesha shirts and short-shorts," Amy recalls. "They were like, 'Nobody post on social media ... We don't want somebody from a sorority to see us in tacky outfits and think that this is how we dress.'"
Amy isn't sure how to feel about the sort of self-censoring she's observed from her daughter in the lead-up to rush, but Abigail's dad offered another perspective to consider.
Amy Sergeant
A photo Amy Sergeant's daughter Abigail sent her mother during rush.
"My husband thinks it's a good thing, because he's like, 'Jobs now are going to pull up your social media and look at it.' He's like, "So, it's a great leeway into life,'" Amy adds, noting that her daughter did say she intended to share the Kesha concert snaps after rush.
Even when parts of the process didn't sit completely right with Amy, she stayed supportive as ever. However, she quickly learned that the South requires a bit more from Greek life parents than just an open mind and an encouraging smile.
SEC moms are more hands-on during rush than one might assume. Lifetime recently explored such expectations in its new unscripted series A Sorority Mom's Guide to Rush!, which follows mother-daughter duos navigating the high-stakes world of sorority recruitment. With the help of rush coaches Bill Alverson and Brandis Bradley, the moms on the show encourage their daughters to show sororities their best selves.
Many parents prove to be a little more involved than even their rushing kids, especially when freshmen are following in their moms' footsteps and trying to join a certain house to continue a familial legacy.
But times have changed since Jane Clair Shettles rushed at Ole Miss. Recruitment looked quite different for her eldest, Sally Grace, who became an Alpha Chi Omega at the University of Alabama in 2020. This year, Jane Clair noticed even more changes as her younger daughter, Mamie, rushed at Mississippi State University,
Sally Grace's experience in Bama Rush felt more intense than Jane Clair's. "I don't even know how to explain it, but just the dress days and the requirements just felt a little more, I guess, rigid would be a good word," she says five years later.
Going into this Mississippi State recruitment with Mamie, things felt more easygoing from the start. "We went in ... very nervous — still the same heightened anxiety for both of my girls and for me — but I do feel like it was a little more relaxed," says Jane Clair.
But a more mellow vibe didn't stop the mom from making sure her child was prepared on all counts. "Of course, leading up to it, Mamie had all the recommendations, resumes, thank-you notes, and she had to make [an introductory] video," Jane Clair tells PEOPLE.
The tricky part came when she helped Mamie sort out her outfits for each day of recruitment, "what shorts or skorts went with which T-shirt and how to coordinate all of that," the SEC mom adds. "I did not wear T-shirts and the older one [Sally Grace] did not, so this was a new experience for us getting to be a little more casual and match something really cute."
It's different, too, because Jane Clair has never lived so close to one of her kids in college; she's only about an hour and a half drive away from Mamie's campus. Not that the pair has to meet up in person to keep in touch. The 18-year-old her mom throughout rush.
Jane Clair Shettles
Jane Clair Shettles with her eldest daughter Sally Grace.
"She just sent me a little video, and we've probably talked three times this morning either on text or verbal, on the phone," Jane Clair shares on day two of her daughter's rush process. "She seemed anxious but excited, too."
According to her mom, Mamie found orientation "very eye-opening." She'd already started to form a personal ranking of each house, even though she hadn't met any of the actual members quite yet.
"Of course, I prayed all day for her and other girls because I know it's hard," Jane Clair explains. "When she called this morning, she was like, 'Nobody cut me,' and I was like, 'Well, Mamie, that's good, but just keep an open mind. Be prepared.'"
Besides calls and texts multiple times throughout the day, Jane Clair found a few ways to show even more support for Mamie as she navigated rush. Before the process started, Jane Clair wrote little notes for her daughter to reach each day, packing them each into a "rush bag" with snacks and other items Mamie may need.
"I've also told her if she doesn't want to talk to me, I totally understand," Jane Clair adds, though she did tell her Mamie that if she feels inclined to talk about the process, it's probably best to open up to family.
"I have told her to try to just keep everything between her sister and myself, but maybe not talk about everything in the dorm and with her other friends," the mom adds. "Because a sorority that she may not feel is a good fit for her, it might be her roommate's favorite one."
Similarly, Mamie may not feel like her mom's sorority, Delta Delta Delta (or Tri Delta), is the right fit, even though there's a chapter at Mississippi State. When Jane Clair was in college, she says it was a "really big deal" to continue "legacies all the way down," but these days there is far less pressure.
Jane Clair didn't hold any strong feelings about Sally Grace becoming a Tri Delta, and she has the same attitude toward Mamie's rush experience as well.
"We have four children, and three have been at different universities. Our son is in a fraternity as well, and none of them have done anything that my husband or their grandparents did," says Jane Clair. "We support it. Everyone's different, and even every college is different."
That's not to say she wouldn't be happy to have a legacy in Mamie. "She knows I'd be excited," Jane Clair admits midway through Mamie's rush experience. "But she knows that I just want her to go where she feels like it could be another group of friends, sisters and be like home."
The laidback approach isn't universal. Jane Clair has seen the way a broken legacy can cause strife within a family.
Amy Sergeant
Amy Sergeant's photo from Bid Day at Ole Miss.
"A very dear friend has watched their child go a different sorority," she notes. "The family can get a little bit upset and it can be pretty intense."
Such a debacle is something Amy's daughter Abigail doesn't have to worry about at all, since her "Northern" background makes her somewhat of an "outsider," as Amy describes it.
"She's not a legacy. She knows no one there. There's not one person from her school there. She is kind of the outsider kid in that respect," the Maryland mom says of Abigail, whose roommate Isabelle is from upstate New York. They live across the hall from two freshmen girls from Houston and Dallas, and both girls have moms with sorority roots.
"I don't know if [Abigail and her roommate] are in a better or worse position than the girls who are legacies, because they have so many expectations and so much built up in their mind," says Amy. "I cannot imagine the stress that's on those girls' shoulders. If they don't get in that one house, is it ruined for them? I don't know."
Unlike the parents of the Texans across the hall, Amy and Isabelle's mom Becky has no ties to Greek life. "It means nothing to us. We truly are those parents who we can say, 'As long as you're happy, it's fine,'" says Amy.
Even with little personal connection to sorority culture, Becky and Amy put their best foot forward to support their kids. They've bonded over trying their best to be rush moms despite such little experience.
"We're like, 'Can we do this? Do we not do this? Oh, my gosh, what if they don't get there?' Amy explains. "We're like the blind leading the blind, but then we're getting all these rush things and ordering their gifts."
Working from different states, the two moms coordinated a solid plan to celebrate their daughters during the ups and downs of recruitment. They left them packages labeled for each day, complete with notes and small presents.
Amy Sergeant
A pair of Amy Sergeant and Becky's daily rush gifts for their daughters.
"We tried to leave them notes for every day based on what they're doing," Amy shares, though she admits the anticipated costs of such a commitment made them hesitate before ordering the goods for their kids. "We weren't sure. We were seeing $100 to $600 a day, and we were like, 'Holy crap, that's for 13 days.'"
They ultimately decided to go through with the commitment, especially since they expected most of the other rushing students would get that type of treatment from their moms. "We were like, 'We don't want them to feel like everybody else is getting this stuff and they're not,'" Amy tells PEOPLE.
On the first day of rush — what's known as "Greek Day" — Abigail and her roommate opened boxes of Kendra Scott bracelets with Greek eye charms. On break day, they got face masks, foot masks and a $50 GrubHub gift card, and the moms arranged for Crumbl cookies to be delivered. The accompanying note read, "Just stay in your room, decompress, watch some Netflix, order Grubhub, get yourselves back together."
Amy Sergeant
Amy Sergeant's daughter Abigail on Bid Day.
When they found out which sorority they were sorted into, Becky and Amy wrapped up fragrance diffusers and lotion. "It's like, 'Remember to stop and smell the roses, it's Bid Day,'" Amy recalled of the note.
In that respect, being a rush mom came naturally to Amy. She describes herself as "an involved parent," and she admits her friends think of her as "so extra." She also planned to drive 16 hours back down to Mississippi so she could watch Abigail "run home" to her sorority.
As Bid Day neared, Amy rode the wave of rush with her daughter. At one point during the process, Abigail called in tears, but she assured her mom that her sobs weren't a cause for concern.
"She said it was in a good way because she walked out of the house that [is] her first choice right now," Amy writes in a text message updating PEOPLE on her daughter's recruitment process. "She said it was so overwhelming because she loved it so much."
Jane Clair Shettles
Jane Clair Shettles' daughter Mamie on Bid Day.
On Bid Day, all the exhaustion and emotions paid off, and both Amy and Jane Clair were present to witness their daughters run home on their respective campuses. Jane Clair saw Mamie land one of her top choices when she received a bid for Delta Gamma at Mississippi State. The proud mom tells PEOPLE her daughter is "so excited" to call the chapter her home.
Alpha Delta Pi earned a new member in Abigail — who dubbed the house her first choice — and a newly experienced sorority mom in Amy. She told PEOPLE that Bid Day festivities were a "zoo," but she described the experience as "so fun."
As a parent out of state, Amy says the process was stressful. But when all was said and done, she was thrilled to see her daughter have "the best time" going from square one — not knowing anyone and having zero affiliation to any sororities — to finding a place where she felt at home.
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